This week was prolly the longest bookout we ever had. It's again as uneventful as last week's bookout. However, it was still a needed rest. A break from everything. Freedom never felt so good. If only every week was like this. Sigh. It's nearing the end of the course. Maybe we can get early bookouts more often. Perhaps even nights out? Yeah. Perhaps. Been having cough since last week. Then had this weird problem of a pulled hemstring muscle. Never had such a malady before. Then when it got better the next day, ppl think im malingering. Come to think of it, life's really unfair in too many ways. Got hooked onto blackjack recently because of the book "21: bringing down the house". It's a really good book so go get it!! I don't usually get any other books apart from the game-themed books but that particular one hooked me up almost instantly. Glad to say, i've learnt the basic technique of counting cards. =) I still don't see any sign of her. Where'd you go?!
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Sanji came by @
5:34:00 PM
ticking. ticking. ticking. tick. the moment comes, when my freedom is taken away again. It wasn't a particularly enjoyable weekend. I missed the national day parade cos i went to get new uniform. i feel guilty for causing this. I.. can't seem to stay happy because of what happened. This bookout was supposed to be a happy one. All because of one news. =/Ytd was supposed to be our anniversary. I wonder if u rmbred it. This melancholy, will it go away? A dreadful week ahead. Pray that it won't get any worse.
Sanji came by @
6:25:00 PM
I don't like where i am. Often, i'm cursing over my fortune to not be able to get to command sch. secondly, my luck to be where i am now. surely, it wouldn't have been that bad. yeah, it wouldn't have been bad if i had my bmt mates with me. we'll go thru these fine. but we're all separate now. at different places. it wouldn't have been bad if things nvr go wrong. the longer i stay there, the more i hate the system. will things turn out fine eventually? will my luck bring me all the way? i felt it at times. when it was with me. but it all seems a little too late isnt it. for the rest of the years, i will be there. i feel so demoralised and depressed after what happened today before we went out. worse when i got home to learn the truth. i rallied myself. i was gonna stand up to it. face it when no one dares or dont want to try. do or die, trying. i'm rdy. it feels as though there's nth holding me back. thinking of it, nothing bad can possibly happen. fatigue. what's it compared to a lifetime of sorrows? death. what's it compared to a lifetime without hope? fear. what's it when you have nothing on your conscience? Crush.
Sanji came by @
11:40:00 PM
